(Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My wife and I, both women, recently made the tough decision to not have kids. It's part expense, part pandemic-induced economic uncertainty, and part lack of enthusiasm on my wife's part. I'm grieving, but working (with my therapist!) to move through it. My very best friend in the entire world, who has been trying with her wife to get pregnant for a while, called me and told me she's pregnant last week. I'm OVERJOYED for her! But it's also bringing back waves of grief. My BFF and her wife each got to tell one person about the pregnancy — for support during the first few months and also to ensure they're not isolated/alone if something happens in the first few months — and I'm her one person. So I can't pull back from her right now; she needs me and I really want to be there for her. And BFF knows about our decision and knows I'm struggling with it. And I'm so grateful for her presence in my life — she's the only friend who doesn't tell me stories about how awful children are to try to "cheer me up" about not having kids. I know the only way past my grief is through it, but I'm wondering if you can provide any advice for being supportive and full of joy with my friend while I'm also grieving the fact that I'll never have a kid of my own. — Grieving |