 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law came over yesterday and told me that a project she was heavily emotionally invested in looked like it wasn't going to happen. I said I was sorry and then had to run off to deal with kids. She then told "David" (my husband). Before she could finish, he started asking, "Well did you try to resolve it with A, or B, or C?" I later told David I thought it came off as (a) trying to give advice when she wanted to talk about her disappointment and (b) sounding like he knew better than she did since he was asking before she finished talking, assuming she hadn't thought of it. She has experience in the project area, he has none. David said he was just curious about all the different options, which I believe is genuine — he really is somehow interested in everything! — but he doesn't know when to ask questions and when he should just listen. This is just one example, but he does this with me and others, too. Am I out of line to suggest he sometimes hold back, wait until they are finished, and then ask himself whether they want advice and to delve deeper or just sympathy, since in his mind he is just interested? Or do you have suggestions for how he can tell whether to ask questions or wait? — Listen or Ask? | 
