 (Nick Galifianakis for The Post) | Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Before the pandemic, my wife and I — early 30s, both lawyers — had long working hours and frequent business travel, with weekends spent largely on family events and cultural activities. Once our respective firms sent us to work at home, we calculated we would gain 30-plus hours a week, even while still working full-time, due to not commuting, traveling or socializing in person. We promised each other we would use that time to be productive in ways our prior schedules did not permit. I kept up my end of the bargain: In six months I read 25 biographies, developed decent conversational skills in two foreign languages, upped my running program to the point that I am marathon-ready, and started volunteering for voter registration advocacy, all while continuing to work full-time. My wife has done … not so much. She has been reading fantasy novels, occasionally watching a History Channel documentary, and has generally used the time to "unwind." I have confronted her several times, and she tells me she is "rejecting productivity culture" and doesn't feel like improving herself right now. We share housework, cooking, and other practical matters, and she does exercise, but I'm getting increasingly frustrated — disgusted, even — that she would waste this gift of free time just to watch TV and read books better suited for children. I have asked her to get counseling and a depression evaluation, but she has refused and thinks she is conducting herself "fine." Do you have any suggestions, other than divorce? — Productive |
